All Good Things

I wrote the other day about how Julia and I split up…

Well, it looks like it’s going to be permanent… I’m a cold, heartless bitch.  I have no feelings, and I am the worst kind of person.  I dunno… she’s determined to hurt me back, and she’s succeeding.

A Cotswold Sunday Morning

I don’t know how many of you know, but I live near Gloucester, in England.  The town I live in is on the edge of the Cotswolds, and it’s a truly beautiful place to live, even in winter.  I look out of the window, and the sky is white… it’s trying very hard to rain, or snow… certainly, it’s cold enough!  My patios at front and back are wet with overnight rain… the lawns are certainly not up to being walked on… but you know, it’s lovely.

It’s yet another weird day though.  I’m in the mood to just have friends round for the day and laugh, tell jokes, natter, or even just to relax, paint my toenails, watch a movie…  The reality of it is that I have a weeks worth of housework to do.  I have to wash, iron, tidy up and all that before we get to the mundane tasks of cooking!  And you know what’s worst?  My coffee machine just overflowed, so that’s another thing I have to do.

So anyway, if you’re in the West Cotswolds, are into girls who like girls, and really want to pamper me today… lol but seriously, this is just another silly day, I’m bouncing and I’ve not even finished my first cup yet.  If I wasn’t hungover from last night I’d be great.

So I wonder… should I just sit here and browse the web?  Should I wander into Second Life and see what wonders the day will bring?  Should I meet with my virtual boyfriend Gordon and take up the Crowbar of Scientific Endeavour in Half Life 2, or  should I just drink my coffee and get on with my chores?

Well Freya’s not awake yet, so I guess SL is out, at least for now…

Red Wine and Chocolate

So I finally made it out of the house to do some shopping.

There’s always the danger here of buying alcohol and nothing else, which is just a recipe for trouble really, though probably fun too.  Anyway, I managed to survive that.  I got some chocolate cake and some take-away indian food too.  Ok, it’s not really a help, but I was in a hurry to get back.

You see, I think the universe is conspiring against me!

For three days, Freya and I have spent about zero time together.  Wednesday and Thursday evenings, she had meetings, and last night, she was out with her RL SO… Anyway, we planned for today to meet up about 9am…

Well first, I didn’t wake up til 10am, which didn’t help… and then you have slow morning start.  Then, at about 11:30, Freya had to take her cat to see the vet, and shop… well, it has to be done or you starve.  Then, when she got home, she fell, hit her head and has been on the sofa with pain killers since!

So, from 10am til 4pm, the universe has kept us apart!  I mean, if that’s not a conspiracy, what is?

Additional Thoughts

At least Freya didn’t throw a wobbly over last night’s post, which I showed her, of course.  I’d given her a hard time over her going out in RL and leaving me alone – which isn’t like me, but I’ve been in a bit of a weird mood lately.  I guess I should try to make it up to her and soon.

Also, I need to do something about – or for – Julia.  I still haven’t got over what happened, and knowing it’s my own fault doesn’t make it any easier.  And now that she’s cancelled my card (the SL equivalent of a friends list is Calling Cards), I know she doesn’t intend to try to win me back, at least any time soon.  Even so, I should make some kind of gesture, to show I still care.

She was a year old in SL too while she was away; November 1st.  And nobody remembered!  You know how that would feel?  I mean, I knew, but nobody else.

If I could turn back time – as in the song by Cher – would I?  I really don’t know.  Trying to balance what I had with what I now have is hard.

A Cold Morning on the Outside

It was hard waking up today.  After 10am too, when I usually wake about 6am.  I hate cold, wet miserable mornings… but at least I don’t need to ride to work today.

Anyway, I got coffee (as you do) and logged in.  People are crowded round the Welcome Area in Ahern, talking about Braniacs and sucking… most odd, though there is a vampire in the crowd, so I suppose it makes some kind of perverted sense.  As a Mentor, I suppose I should close it down, and get the talk onto more wholesome lines, but it’s a Saturday morning, and I’m in a perverse frame of mind.  Maybe some sucking wouldn’t be so bad… lol

And now some guy is hitting on me, wanting an invite to my home.  I told him where it was of course, so he can visit it – it’s Stonehenge, in Mocha, if you care – … but I’m staying at the Welcome Area with Freya and the Newbies, lol.

So there, I need more coffee… More later maybe,

Sio

Arrival

Hi,

Some of you will know me, some not. I live, or rather I spend all my free time in a virtual world called Second Life – I recommend it…

Anyway, I thought I’d start this blog because I really need to get my thoughts put down before this whole life drives me insane. You see, I’ve had a very weird few weeks in SL…

It all started maybe a month and a half back. My partner, Julia and I had had a falling out. We’d fought before of course, but this was somehow worse. Anyway, the result was that our home was destroyed, along with a lot of other stuff. Needless to say I was devastated.

A day or so later, Julia apologised (as did I) and we tried to make a fresh start. Or at least so I thought. Julia was afraid to let it be public since it might reflect badly on me. I stupidly accepted. We got better and better and everything seemed to be good, but then, it all went screwy… we ended the evening on another argument.

The next morning, Julia was gone. Not in world, no email, no contact… Was something wrong? Had she been in an accident? So I waited… and waited… I tried to contact her, but to no avail and then one day, she was no longer in the players list… her account – gone! I tried to find out but privacy policies prevented me knowing more than she’d deactivated it.

Life goes on, I guess… or does it. I waited over three weeks for her to make contact… and then, I gave in to those around me and I tried to move on. And so, with a friend, I started to form a new relationship. Her name is Freya, and mostly she treats me very well..

This is where it gets weird. No sooner had Freya and I got together, than Julia gets back. She’s been in hospital for a month… Damn, did I feel bad! Here was my lover of over a year back, and I’m with someone else. Should I leave Freya and go back to Julia, or what…?

In the end, Julia made the decision for me. She accused me of never loving her and well, left. Not that I can blame her… I can only imagine how I’d have reacted in her place. I think that was the way I was leaning anyway, but even now, I’m not sure I was right. Freya’s great, but how can she replace Julia? I don’t even know that she wants me full time… She has a real life relationship after all, and let’s face it… for all virtual worlds are fun, real life must come first…

But where does it leave me… lost I guess… but tonight is tonight and we will see.

If you do know me in SL, come say “Hi”.. if not… well, give it a try, you get a week free… at secondlife.com and say “Hi” anyway.

A sidhe in a virtual world