A very painful dilemma

We’re nearly half way through May, and it’s been a long time since I have been able to make contact with Freya. She’s not logged into Second LifeTM since last year, and it’s killing me. We’ve been an item for over 6 years, and that’s no easy thing to give up… in SL terms, it’s a lifetime.

Lately, I am embracing my submissive side, and becoming a living doll in SL. I’ve found a wonderful Mistress who treats me well, and plays with me as a toy. She’s also very devoted to her partner in SL, putting her before me, as she should. (If she didn’t put her partner first, then I don’t think I’d have stayed.)

Sooner or later, I will have to make a choice. I love them both, and I put Freya above everything. But I can’t wait for ever. On the other hand, I am covering some of her tier, and if we part, she loses that and probably loses her home. I would feel a LOT better if only I could talk to her to discuss selling some of it… at least that will minimise the damage, But it’s been 5 months. I went to Freya after my previous partner had been missing for less than 2.

So I have a dilemma. Whatever I do, people are going to be hurt. And I think I will be hurt either way.

I should really be thinking of myself. I have my transgender treatments to consider and I can’t afford to waste money on someone who’s not there, but… it feels so much like betrayal. I love my Freya. I love her more than I love myself. I love her more than life.

I feel abandoned!

I am a doll cast into a corner, a slave who grew old and ugly. My heart aches. I miss her so much.

I need … I need attention…

Someone please, tell me what to do, because I am so lost in emotion right now.

3 thoughts on “A very painful dilemma”

  1. I can’t tell you what to do, dear heart, but sharing your pain is a good move since I think it does help lessen the pain. The pain is part of the risk of giving yourself to someone, it’s yours, it’s earned, and nothing wrong with you. And the risk was worth it for the memories you have, even though they contribute to the hurt you’re feeling. Many of us have gone through similar periods … someone we counted on can’t be there and we don’t understand why there isn’t at least an apology or goodbye. The best I can tell you is this isn’t something you did to bring the hurt, don’t beat yourself up. Live with it …. you can handle it.

  2. Hi, baby it will be ok, let go of the pain then it will soon fade. And you have friends to help you, be with you, love you.

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