And I got home, my holiday over for now. To stave off the loneliness I diverted my journey to my parents’ place to have a few St. Patrick’s Day drinks. I know they love me but annoying…
My mother is nagging to do my laundry from the week – she’s so in denial and I know how it would affect her if I accepted. It wouldn’t be fair on her.
So now I am in the local drinking Guinness with Dad. Today could take several courses and I am nervous.
So here I am, sitting alone in Paddington station, nursing a beer. It’s way too early to be drinking, but it’s the only way to stop the tears. The emotions are just too strong for me to deal with.
This last week has been so incredible. The people – everyone – have been awesome, you know who you are, and I’ve had nothing but support from you all. Thank you.
I don’t think I actually need to say this, but… I love you all.
Day 7, my last full day in London. I was supposed to be staying in to wait for some administrators to look at work being done in and around the flat, but it was cancelled. I stayed in touch with Emma and Michelle though, and after class, Michelle came over for company. I was half way through Batman Begins, so we watched the end together with coffee, while chatting to Emma over skype.
Once this was done, we headed up to Camden for shopping and browsing and really to enjoy the weather. We ended up in the garden at Quinns, the pub I was in on Saturday, with a bottle of merlot.
Later, we called in the supermarket for foodstuffs, and back at the flat, set to cooking a meal. Chicken stirfry with onions, peppers and mixed chinese leaves, and of course rice. My flatmate arrived in time to help us eat it with some wine and Memoirs of a Geisha, which neither of my companions had seen, on the tv.
Michelle left about 11, which was when the depression started to come back. Knowing that I have to go back to my old life, at least for a while. I’m leaving a few things here though – a token that I know I am coming back soon, but in all honesty, I don’t know how long it will be.
It’s now 10am on Tuesday 17th, St. Patrick’s Day and I will be leaving soon for the station where I’ll spend a couple of hours. My case is packed and all but the last minute bits are in my backpack for the journey. My train leaves Paddington at 12:45. I am struggling to hold back tears. This week has been one of freedom for me, like being released from prison after a long sentence. Today feels like going back. I hope and I pray that it will not be for long.