I’ve been off work for the last two days, feeling generally down. I couldn’t get an appointment yesterday, but this morning, after waiting for two and a half hours, I got to see my GP – it’s the first time I’ve seen him since I moved here, almost 2 years ago – and he confirmed at least the basics of what’s wrong as being deppression. So now I have to try and change my life to get over it… Walking and exercise to start, try to socialise and then go back in a couple of weeks to see if we need a more chemical treatment.
What causes it though? Well, it’s a few things I guess, including a sense of not belonging or displacement, a lack of local friends, work being stressful and boring, loneliness and of course the general self loathing that comes with gender disphoria. Lots to work with.
The doctor was nice about it though. He admitted he knows little about gender issues except what he has read in regular journals, but he’s going to try to find out more and maybe refer me to a local specialist, so there could be some progress there. It’s a first step anyway.