The path to self destruction

Most of us are pretty good at self destruction. I seem to be better at it than most.

Why do we always say things we know we’ll regret later? Why do we push away the ones we love? Why are we always determined to destroy our own happiness?

Last night, in ICQ, I said a lot of nasty, cruel things to Freya. She didn’t deserve it, she’d done nothing wrong, except in my mind. I said them anyway. I had no excuse.

When I sobered up and realised what I’d done, I sent her an apology, and I meant it. I wanted to take the hurt away that I’d caused, both to her, and to us. Unfortunately, Freya’s not logged in since, so she hasn’t received it.

I think I’ve lost her, and it’s all my fault!