New work, new social network
02 Jul 2011 Leave a Comment
in Real Life, Second Life
Well it’s been a busy week! I started a new part-time voluntary job yesterday, helping teach IT skills to the less well off. One thing I can tell straight away is that the people there are a lot more appreciative of help than I’m used to getting from doing tech support. There’s no money, but it is CV fodder and a reference, so future job hunting will be a bit easier.
Also, and being on Plurk, most of you already know… Google+ is here. Just in beta right now, and invite only, but it has a lot of promise. I hope it takes off. Still, I’ll leave the descriptions to those who do it better, but if you can try it, please do so.
New Glasses
06 Jun 2011 2 Comments
in Real Life
I got my new glasses today. These as a main pair,
and these as sunglasses.
Pics of them on me as and when I take some… it’s a bit dreary today though so it may have to wait for the weekend. What do people think?
Goodbye little sister
28 May 2011 1 Comment
in Real Life
Gwen Girl (Lady), 1996-2011
My parents’ pet, Gwen Girl, known as Lady. Her kidneys failed last weekend, and after a course of dialysis was finally laid to rest today just after noon.
Sleep well, sweet one.
Linking
14 May 2011 Leave a Comment
in Second Life
I tried to post a reply to this post using my open-id, but it wouldn’t accept that I owned it (it didn’t ask a password of course – just assumed, but that is live-journal for you). However, I am me… and whatever the LJ admins think, I do own the rights to myself…
Good luck Chao!
News Roundup
13 May 2011 Leave a Comment
in Real Life, Second Life
Well, I have some news.
In RL™ I’m still looking for work. The last interview came to nothing when they just told me they’d filled the place internally. They still wanted to keep hold of my details though as I was one of the last couple and they’ll probably be needing someone soon to fill the vacated post. To be honest, I’m not sure how I feel about that though. If they filled internally, budget is probably tight and any salary offer will be low. Not really something to look forward to in a new job, especially when it’s an entry-level position to start with.
On a brighter note, there’s a very good chance that my house sale will complete next week, which will leave me with some money. It’s nowhere near what I was hoping to get, but house prices in the area have fallen massively and it’s about as much as I could expect to get. My fingers are crossed for this.
And finally, today’s post brought my first appointment at Charing Cross Gender Clinic. It’s not until October, but there is always the possibility that it’ll be brought forward. For those of you who’ve been following, I have waited for this for about two and a half years, so it’s big progress for me. There’s still a long way to go, but it’s a start. At least I am on the road now.
So what about Second Life™? Well, I don’t think there’s a lot to tell. Not much changes, ever. I do think I need a bigger place to live. My little place just doesn’t have the prims I need to build. It’s barely enough, if I am honest, to rez the sales boxes and bags that many stores pack their wares in these days. I have to go elsewhere to unpack them. Still, life could be a lot worse. I have my friends and they are a lot more important to me than things will ever be.
Bye for now,
Sio
It’s been a while
13 May 2011 Leave a Comment
in Second Life
Seems like I have not written anything for ever. Time to think about something new before you all think that I’ve left for good.
January Updates – Part 2
28 Jan 2011 2 Comments
in Real Life, Transgender Tags: London, Real Life, Transgender
Well, true to form, I did what I said I would.
Last November, I handed in my notice at work. I ignored the fixed notice period and said I’d work til the end of the year, which was a bit more than required. Due to acquired leave, my last working day was Christmas Eve.
So I spent Christmas with my parents, and went up to London for the New Year… travelled on the 30th as usual, so I’d have plenty of time to get ready to go out. The difference this time is… I didn’t go back. Nope, I am now living at Mornington Crescent near Camden Town, and I am now Siobhán full time. This is not to say I’ve not been back at all since… I still own the old house and all that’s in it… I want to move at least the expensive stuff (TV, PC, lounge suite etc) up here, and get rid of what I don’t want…
So I went down for a few days to collect some, and visit the parents. They know, and they support me, but… they do not approve even slightly.
Anyway, this week… I got my ears pierced for the first time, I got my name changed legally, so now I am Siobhán (though not Taylor in rl), and I’ve made a start getting my bank and medical records moved. Tax records will follow but since I am unemployed, I guess that’s a minor thing.
I saw my new GP today; a lovely woman called Emma. She admitted up front she knows very little bout transgender issues (except the obvious), but she seems very eager to learn and be supportive. I say “Yay!”
Anyways, most of my friends are staying in tonight as there is a game tomorrow. I used to be into RPGs, so my friends are those folks… Now I’m not, it’s awkward when they have something on and I do not. So… I am finding my own fun tonight. God help me!
Someone entertain me… fast…
January Updates
28 Jan 2011 Leave a Comment
in SL Tags: Second Life
It seems that every time I write an update here, I have to start with an apology for the time it’s been since the last one. I should really try to work on that as it’s getting to be all too easy to forget this blog even exists. So let’s get that out of the way first, sorry for the delay.
Anyway, on to the updates. My new family in SL – mentioned in passing a couple of posts ago – has worked for me. I still miss Freya, but I’m not dwelling daily on it any more. Miss Schlippsi looks after me well and the only thing I lack there is time with her – time zones and work patterns being what they are.
I’ve shortened my hair too, and I recently took a new profile picture for SL. I like it, and so far I’ve had positive feedback on it…
- Shadows in Metatheria
I know it’s not perfect, but there you go…
Recently, I was interviewed in world for Moonletters. It’s a two part interview and can be found directly here and here. It’s been a while since anyone took any real interest in me, so I was a bit surprised, and to be honest, I put Paypabak off for a while as I wasn’t entirely sure I wanted to do it. In the end though, I’m glad I did. Tell me what you think.
Well, there’s some RL stuff too, but I’ll save that for another post later…
Decisions
12 Nov 2010 1 Comment
in Real Life
It would seem that the only time I blog these days is when I’m miserable. Don’t ask my why though, I just never get round to it other times.
Anyway, as those of you who know me on Plurk will recall, I’ve been having more trouble this autumn with local youths. It’s got me to the stage that I really can’t take living here any more. I can never relax in the evenings, I don’t sleep properly. Added to a job I can’t stand in a call centre, and it all makes for me being one stressed out girl.
So, I have all but decided to change, and go to London at the new year, and stay there. Money will be an issue, as will finding a new job, but it can’t be worse than this.
So, decisions need to be made soon. My job needs 4 weeks notice, so time is running out on me. I feel sick.
A while
08 Oct 2010 1 Comment
in Freya & Sio, London Trip, Real Life, Second Life Tags: Second Life
It has been a while. August since my last Plurk, and things do happen. I’ve just not felt like writing, which probably says more about me than I’d like. Still, it is life, of a sort.
Freya came back. She came back days after I got the split. You probably can’t imagine how I felt. Or maybe you can, I dunno. I’ve felt guilty as hell since. I wanted to go back, but it was too late, I think for both of us. We’re still friends, I hope, and in time, who knows.
Sometimes it’s too hard to bear, other times I rejoice in the freedom and new friends. Mostly, I am numb.
I stay home, I look to the past, and I am most certainly not the party girl I was once. But, the wheel turns, and what was dead lives, what was old is young again, and I remake myself.
Tonight I am heading to London, to friends who’ve always been there for me. Maybe even some new ones… and you never know, maybe Freya. I can hope.
But if not, I have a new family in SL. So I’ll be fine.
Tonight, I cry
17 Aug 2010 4 Comments
in Freya & Sio, Real Life, Second Life, zazi retail park Tags: hate..., love, Second Life
Tonight is the night I give up about 5 years of my life. Tonight is the night my heart beats it’s last and becomes yet another piece of stone. Tonight is the night that my soul dies.
I’ve waited… I’ve wept… I’ve been a pain to some of my closest friends.
Last weekend was my 7th rezday. But last weekend was when I realised Freya was never coming back.
I’ve put our shared land (as much as I can) up for sale… If she ever comes back, I’ll split it with her.
Tonight is the night I asked Governor Linden for a divorce.
Tonight, I hate myself.
Tonight, the world changed… and not, whatever you say, for the better.
I got a linden home… where I am now, will be there…
Whatever…
I Can Haz Rezday
13 Aug 2010 2 Comments
in Second Life
It’s been seven whole years, and I made it through relatively unscathed. Let’s hope I make it to eight.
I hurt
25 May 2010 2 Comments
in Second Life Tags: Loss
I really hurt a lot. My heart is lost and I don’t know where to turn.
I have decided to wait before I decide, certainly to my own rezday and maybe to Freya’s which will pretty much mark a year of no contact. Nothing will ease the pain, the guilt the feelings of betrayal (although I feel that goes both ways)… but it may at least help my sanity.
A very painful dilemma
13 May 2010 3 Comments
in Second Life
We’re nearly half way through May, and it’s been a long time since I have been able to make contact with Freya. She’s not logged into Second LifeTM since last year, and it’s killing me. We’ve been an item for over 6 years, and that’s no easy thing to give up… in SL terms, it’s a lifetime.
Lately, I am embracing my submissive side, and becoming a living doll in SL. I’ve found a wonderful Mistress who treats me well, and plays with me as a toy. She’s also very devoted to her partner in SL, putting her before me, as she should. (If she didn’t put her partner first, then I don’t think I’d have stayed.)
Sooner or later, I will have to make a choice. I love them both, and I put Freya above everything. But I can’t wait for ever. On the other hand, I am covering some of her tier, and if we part, she loses that and probably loses her home. I would feel a LOT better if only I could talk to her to discuss selling some of it… at least that will minimise the damage, But it’s been 5 months. I went to Freya after my previous partner had been missing for less than 2.
So I have a dilemma. Whatever I do, people are going to be hurt. And I think I will be hurt either way.
I should really be thinking of myself. I have my transgender treatments to consider and I can’t afford to waste money on someone who’s not there, but… it feels so much like betrayal. I love my Freya. I love her more than I love myself. I love her more than life.
I feel abandoned!
I am a doll cast into a corner, a slave who grew old and ugly. My heart aches. I miss her so much.
I need … I need attention…
Someone please, tell me what to do, because I am so lost in emotion right now.
Spring update
02 Mar 2010 Leave a Comment
in Real Life, Second Life
It seems ages since I blogged anything here, so I think it’s time for an update, on a few things at least. I am kind of assuming that someone still reads this after a 2 or 3 month gap.
Anyway, it’s March 2nd. Last month was Freya’s 6th rezday – and she missed it. In fact, I’ve not seen her online anywhere since then either. I miss her loads and I hope she comes back soon. It’s not the same in SL without her (even if she thinks she’s boring). More, I hope she’s alright. Maybe just busy in RL.
On a personal and RL front, I’ve now been on my pills for 3 weeks. There’s no obvious effect yet but it’s early days and I’m watching closely. Work continues to be a pain in the arse. I seriously need a new one, and soon before I crack. If anyone knows of something, let me know – I’m almost desperate enough to consider LL!
I’ll be in London again soon, for 10 days over the May bank holiday. It would be nice to meet any fellow SLers who are in town then, so get in contact (here, SL or plurk) and we can sort something out. There’s lots of time. This means you, Locum and Vint!
So anyway, here I am on another frozen day in Cardiff, depressed and lonely again. Even SL doesn’t help. I log in and stay at home chatting in IMs. Last night, even someone tp’ing in was enough to drop my frame rate to 1 or lower and send sim-ping up to 5000 or so. Certainly enough to make me freeze and get unresponsive.
Someone come and take me away from all this, please.
